Today was the day of my grandfather's funeral. The first post on this blog started with the news of my grandfather's death.
This right here: -> http://pencilsandgames.blogspot.com/2016/01/life-goes-on.html
I couldn't really bring myself to look at the body he once dwelled in.
They gave him a really nice hat to go with. My grandfather always wore a fedora.
I'm thinking, when I have children, I should throw a huge party or so. When people die, we all gather and mourn. So, when people are born, we should celebrate with all our might, right? I think that is something I should make practice of. There's a lot of sadness in this world, but more joyful moments need to be celebrated. I think that if we should focus on the happier things in life - without turning a blind eye on the sad, than we would live easier.
Here's the view from the burial ground.
Waves crashing here are a good sound. And the wind is ever so powerful.
Up until today, I hadn't cried yet at all. No tears would come out - nothing at all. I think I was still in shock a bit. I remember it exactly. When we got the news, I was playing Splatoon. On my favorite map with my favorite background music. I had to stop for a moment to let the news in, then broke away from my stupor to prevent a crying scene of sorts. We won the match, yeah. But I was probably still puzzled. Had just returned from a fancy dinner, sat to play a game, and this was the news we had received.
Some times my tears would turn into rage for unknown reasons. I don't know why I'm wired this way, but its the first response I give - even though I can't do anything about it.
But in all, what drove me to the edge of tears wasn't even the fact that I was at my grandfather's funeral. It was the sight of my father, once again fighting back his tears. It's no secret that my father and me don't always get along very well, however he is still my father. And as I stood there watching him carry his father's body to be buried, I started apologizing under my breath because my body was too weak to do it for him. The most I could do was be right behind him.
Dodged all the family photos. Can't believe people are taking selfies and such at a time like that. That sorta angered me, but I just kept away and went over to the hillside where the wind blew me some peace.
Another thing I started saying is, "What friends?"
Second time in a row. Not one of the people I call my friends showed up at my grandparents' funeral. In all honesty, it hurt me this time. I'm trying to think of how I can watch some of them in the face and say "What's up bro?" after this. This one friend in particular. When his grandmother suddenly died, I quickly got in contact with him. Stood right by him at the funeral - down to the graveside; because we're friends. I didn't even bother thinking at the time, "He'd do the same for me." I just wanted to be strength to him. Come to think of it, some other guys I call my friends were there too. Yet I had none of them to rest back on today, nor the last time. So I did what was then necessary. I had this motto for the day; "見せるのはオレの力じゃなく、オレの覚悟だ。" TR - "What I'll show today isn't my strength, but my resolution/preparedness -my will." I can't say I don't need friends, but it'd be nice if they actually showed up for things that mattered besides gaming.
The joy of today, besides waking up was the arrival of my... jaja~n
The feel is so different from the 2011 model. It just feels more natural. And this game is one I've wanted to play since reveal. I think it's because of the nice feel it gives off. I took some screenshots, maybe one day I'll upload them. Attached currently are the Shizue-san plates. Well.. Isabelle, it feels really weird calling her Isabelle for me. Was going to use the alternate plates but, I just stuck with those in the end. Was eyeing some other plates on Amazon. Maybe in the future.
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| Courtesy Nintendo |
Also finally watched Dagashi Kashi and the first episode of Hibike Euphonium (which I've put off for a long time). I like both of these and shall continue to watch if I can (God willing). For some reason, Dagashi Kashi's art looks oddly familiar.
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| Courtesy Chrunchyroll |
Oh wow, look at the time. Busy, early day tomorrow so I should just sign off here.
Today saw a new saying. While watching the sea and challenging the wind I thought to myself; 「一番怖いのは死じゃなく、生きて何もしないってことです。」
"The scariest thing isn't dying, but living without doing/accomplishing anything."
I probably heard that a lot somewhere before.
What are you setting out for today? I heard a man say last night ,"If you haven't found something worth dying for, then you haven't found something worth living for." - Some lawyer said that. Probably quoted someone else. No where as harsh as Dr Martin Luther King.
Is there anything worth dying for to you?
Peace.
Is there anything worth dying for to you?
Peace.
